Ruminations

Many years ago, I dealt with intellectual honesty in a dishonest manner and it changed my life.

In a class called “Denominational Dogmas,” my professor assigned me a term paper topic that was, in all candor, a fascinating spiritual topic. As he handed me back my finished product and I saw a big, red “D-” emblazoned on it, he simply said. “This is an ‘A+’ paper.’”

This concerned me because I saw the big “D-” on the paper now firmly griped in my hands. Perplexed, I just looked at him with what must have been a classic “Huh?” look.

“It was superbly written and you obviously did your research thoroughly. Why don’t you think about it over the weekend; should you decided to rewrite your conclusion, I’ll be happy to received it again on Monday.”

I’m not stupid. My conclusion was that I wasn’t sure. I knew his stance, that of the church I was in and had no prior experience in or about the topic. I honestly thought I’d write a simple paper that said here’s the evidence and this phenomena doesn’t exist.

Surprisingly to me, I discovered the biblical evidence compelling, even in the face of all the sources I consulted who were against it. Now I was in a quandary — what was I to do? While not sure how to express a desire to study it more, I stated that my conclusion was inconclusive.

My professor’s conclusion was dogmatic (ironic, given the name of the class); the topic I was writing about no longer existed. Only a fool, heretic or an agent of Satan would hold a contrary position.

I rewrote the paper and got my “A+.”

I’ve been sorry ever since.

That decision –encouraged by a responsible adult, Bible professor and pastor– became the cornerstone of the destruction of my faith.

to be continued…